B. Ruse: Here to Make a Difference

New Blog

2008-12-27T04:42:00.000-08:00

I'm blogging now at: My New Blog
This will probably be the last blog on this site for me

Standing up and being strong

2008-07-11T09:23:00.000-07:00

So, it's almost through my Foundations of Algebra course in the summer, almost time to start up the College Algebra this next half of summer and whew... I'm tired. I've almost been swept out and was sick for a portion of the summer classes. I'm still working on my book and thinking about different research that's possible. I have so many ideas about care and helping children who were foster kids... maybe in some ways I'm trying to help myself. I feel alone inside... I keep thinking that if I give back I will find myself. Piece together the pieces. How ridiculous that is, jeeze I'm a mess. I really miss my parents, god do I miss the support. I guess inside I'm carrying this big empty black hole.

I guess I just have to grow up, brush off the pain, and keep pressing ahead.

Here's a quote:

One will never reach distant shores,
if he chooses to remain upon the dock,
In fear his little ship of dreams
may be dashed against the rocks.
-- F. Bolen.

I will succeed, it will take time and dedication.

2008-06-24T04:18:00.000-07:00

I've been battling with sickness... I think it's a small case of bronchitis. I'm trying to fight it off and keep focused on school. I had to take off today because I was feeling really really crappy. I did, on the other hand, get my acceptance package for the ALB program.

Just wanting life to be more simple.

2008-05-03T17:35:00.000-07:00

Often, I try to approach life with positive understanding but right now I'm in another rut. I feel desolate and alone. I feel like I don't matter and I just am existing. I wish I were happier and I wish that I sometimes would just stop wanting things I'm not good enough to have... ugh, I guess I should get back to my priority list.

So alone...

2008-04-12T06:00:00.000-07:00

I'm coping with life in a weird way. I've been strung around, hurt, and left to fend for myself most of my life. Right now I'm in a rut and people don't see it but I am. Sometimes, I really really want to give up. I'm fallen into some sort of depression and well, I know that I have to work on getting through my assignments and fulfilling the goals I set for myself but inside I'm fucking alone and I feel really depressed because I'm trying so hard and I have no one to rely on but ME. I just want to scream sometimes but instead I cry into my pillow because I don't want people to see my tears. I get treated like crap by girls when all I do is give my heart out and I'm so sick of it and sick of trying so hard in life and ugh... I just wish I'd get a break once in a while... oh well, I'm going back to studying.

Struggles and the definition of hurt.

2008-03-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

Hurt as Princeton defines it, "suffer: feel pain or be in pain." This is what I'm dealing with right now. I've struggled through challenges all of my life but nothing compares to that of right now. I'm wondering where my life is headed and how strong I have to be to overcome all of these obstacles. I'm becoming less concerned with material possessions which some could construe as depression... very well may be. I'm wondering where I fit in the scheme of life and the strings of occurrences.
I guess these are the times we grow the most. Amidst the cold darkness we find our true selves.

I was engaged for a short time. A girl ended up destroying my life... I now am taking 3 classes at Harvard and basically I'm doing well in one but the other two I'm dwindling... B-'s are alright I suppose in some ways... but I still have more time to bring them up... I just need to find the strength.

struggles and challenges

2008-03-16T07:23:00.000-07:00

Well, lately I've been hit by a few challenges in life and it's hurting me inside but i have to keep my mind on the Lord and know that I have much work to do. God will help us overcome any situation.

Here's a quote:

"Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win."
-Bernadette Devlin

My New Book

2008-03-09T07:27:00.000-07:00

I'm actually starting to begin a book pretty much with the preface of helping out foster children. Stay tuned as I'll add more information as I complete portions of the book!

Here's the table of contents:

Chapter 1:My Story.............................................................................................1
Chapter 2: Why am I in Foster Care?.................................................................2
Chapter 3: What is my future going to be like?...................................................5
Chapter 4: Who can help me?.............................................................................7
Chapter 5: Can I go to College?.........................................................................9
Chapter 6: How will I pay for College?.............................................................11
Chapter 7: Your Story..........................................................................................50
Chapter 8: Where to go from here........................................................................60
Appendix.............................................................................................................xv

Working Paper on Child Advocacy

2007-12-30T08:28:00.000-08:00

According to the AFCARS report of fiscal year 2005, the number of children entering foster care was 311,000 with thirty-five percent of those being between the ages of thirteen and seventeen.(AFCARS)These are startling statistics and one must be aware of these grave problems. Children in Foster Care mostly don't understand the system and more often than not need to be guided and assisted because without parents there is a term called "foster care drifting". Tackling giant problems starts with a look at the core of them... the fundamental people who are being hurt: the children. Foster Care affects the quality of life of children by damaging children's self-worth, changing their perspective on the world, and decreasing their chances at attaining higher educational goals.

The effects of foster care and child educational policy should not end up damaging children's self-worth. The American Academy of Pediatrician's Committee on Early Childhood, Adoption and Dependent Care recently wrote,

"Every effort should be made to make foster care a positive experience and a healing process for the child. Threats to a child's development from abuse and neglect should be understood by all participants in the child welfare system. Pediatricians have an important role in assessing the child's needs, providing comprehensive services, and advocating on the child's behalf."(Pediatrics, 2000)

This something that is very important and should be looked at. Children are drifting in foster care and feel that no one cares. It would be helpful to involve these children in better social situations to integrate them into the system in a phased way and more often to help the children understand what is going on. Integration is something which must be analyzed. As a former foster child, I remember being whisked away and not knowing what was going on and even having to fend for myself in getting information or even knowing about the process. That's not fair. When children enter foster care they should be given some information to guide them in the process. Children also have differing views of the world when they are in foster care and work should be done on this subject.

Foster Care changes children's perspective on the world. The infant-parents Institute reprinted a foster child's view in their journal where the child says, "When some of the people who took care of you were called "foster parents" and you didn't know what that meant except something about they weren't going to stick around." and also,

I'm not saying I was some cherished treasure or anything in my family. But what were you thinking when you sent big men in uniforms to grab me out of my screaming father's arms at eleven o'clock at night, scaring me to death? Or when you sent me to a foster home without telling them about the special ways I needed to be handled because I had never stayed anywhere long enough to get attached to anybody?(Trout)

Children end up believing they have no one who cares about them and that they are on their own. This is something which should be dealt with because with low positive outlook comes a higher likelihood for depression. Foster Care also has a lot to do with whether someone becomes educated.

Will Continue this Later

Works Cited

http://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cb/stats_research/afcars/tar/report13.htm

Pediatrics Journal

http://aappolicy.aappublications.org/cgi/content/full/pediatrics;106/5/1145

The Premise of this Blog

2007-07-22T06:31:00.001-07:00

The Premise of this blog is to guide you along my journey of making a difference in the world. I'm going to do this in a few ways. Providing up to date news on different subjects such as:

1.) University News(Harvard University and DCE(Extension))
2.) My views and papers on the status of the Foster Care System, Orphans, and Child Health.
3.) Guiding you through my journey to become a Doctor and world-changer.
4.) Giving you a personal look into my life as I go through it.

I really hope you enjoy this blog.